Author: moalmor

Update

Posted on by moalmor

Hello good fellows

Just passed by to say I’m alive and well… we’re kinda settled in Espinho, Portugal, for now. The vibe in this city is a little weird, not to say freaking weird! We have some plans reserved in our sleeves but to soon to tell you about it. Ah Ah wait for it suckers!

Thomas is doing fine, didn’t made friends yet, neither us ahaha life’s a bitch.

About that, life being a bitch, just a little reminder…MENTAL ILLNESS is a thing! If you have someone around you struggling don’t wait for them to come for your help, be proactive and take action. Two seconds of your time can make the difference.

So, with this last thought and a tango i leave today…

Cold war

Posted on by moalmor

Good morning dear friends and whoever has the time to read this shit. As you can see I’m a very busy woman, long time since I’ve written my last post. Maybe you didn’t even noticed. Who cares!? Anyway, a lot happened and even more is about to. We have finally made a decision and are moving back to Portugal.

Today was the first day of the rest of our lives. Was the day we gave our resignation letters at this shithole. We actually didn’t finalized the condo selling. A shot in the dark, well, more a shot in the dusk. Fingers crossed everything goes as planned or at least as the movies, two nerve wrecking weeks but an happy ending. HEY Mr. Karma, get to work!

I’m so tired of hearing enlightened minds and their thoughts such as ‘oh you’re making a mistake’ or ‘you see, sooner than later you’re back’ or ‘ you’re ruining your kid future’ so I’m just gonna say, for now it’s the only move that makes sense to us. Go after what makes you happy and not where the money is. Be around the ones that really matter.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, not any village! I want to give my son the right foundation and tools to be a good human being and that will be by being surrounded by that same village love and ideals. Right now the arrow is pointing east, way more east.

I guess what I’m felling is what soldiers feel when the war is over and they’re going home. Of course I’m gonna miss some things, especially my battle comrades fighting the same enemies as me, some getting captured, others surrendered and there’s even some casualties. But I can say proudly that after six years fighting I survived and Honey, Oh Honey, I’m coming home!

Morning momentum

Posted on by moalmor

While I was waiting for the metro to go work this morning, a woman and her daughter maybe 3 years old, sat next to me. So far so good. I was concentrated mastering the art of closing those mini umbrellas and the fuck happens with that little piece of fabric that comes with it… when suddenly I got pulled away by the events next to me.

Like I told you before, they sit next to me and first thing to do it’s the photo shoot. Off the jacket to show the nice white sweater, with a pink animal, mommy got you. Sit still and click. This time a nice smile, she says, click. Like there’s so many reasons to smile while you’re stuck underground waiting to stand for half an hour like sardines, surfing the tunnels of Montreal. Well, luckily the little girl doesn’t know that kind of fun yet. So now she has a picture with a smile, but wait, she wants another one with a less fake smile. Ok girl, obviously she’s not Tyra Banks!

After all this she sits editing and posting the photos, I guess. Meanwhile the little girl is fighting with her sweater, arms in the air…I’m hot, I’m hot, mom I’m hot. This goes for about 2 minutes before some wise words are spoken, suddenly mommy turns into Yoda and says: mommy has her sweater on, it’s winter and everybody has their sweater on – our eyes crossed. Wait a minute lady, don’t use me as an excuse, flash news I’m hot too, I just don’t feel like carrying my mountain of a coat on my arms, I would go topless if I could.

So we’re back to photo session nr 2, the poor girl must be sweating bullets by now, but keeps her ‘mommy I’m happy’ smile. The problem this time is she doesn’t get still. She moved an inch and mommy can’t get a good picture of her precious so she used the 1st rule of parenting ‘if they act like kids let’s threaten them to go back home’. Finally the metro arrived and I went back to my life.

I’m not judging – who am I kidding, of course I am – but I shouldn’t, afterwards I only watched this family for 8 minutes, maybe she was on a day off of parenting…who knows!? And I’m pretty sure she never left her child get burned or fall off the couch… whatever.

I’m a little anxious when the time comes, when Mr. T will start to understand more and talk, how we will react and respond to his behaviors. But what do I know… I’m raising a feral kid, happy and cheerful but a savage!

What if…?

Posted on by moalmor

 

I came across this article and I found it very enlightening – What If…?

We spend most of our lives trying to find a path, our roles in society, our destiny blah blah blah… While most of us have a clearly vision about what they want to do with the rest of their lives, others are not so fortunate. I can say that’s my daily dilemma, well not daily, maybe bi-weekly. Since a kid I was good in arts, so, everything just pointed to follow arts in high school and from there on was kind a no brainer to go that way. Went to study fashion design, product design, illustration…yet, didn’t feel my call! My family always encouraged me to study and ‘do more’ with my life but I’m very anxious for that! That’s when I decided was time to work and stop wasting my father’s money vainly in courses I never intended to finish.

I have a tendency to dream big and from time to time I think I can do the fuck I want, like there’s no obstacles or tomorrow, that’s when they push me back to earth. The truth is that it gets a bit frustrating, in the end you don’t enjoy anything because you lost most of your time thinking what if…Am I not enough?

 

 

SOULBOOK

Posted on by moalmor

It’s funny to have a blog that you can write whatever, talk about nothing but less lonely and depressing than a diary, kind of a social diary. Let’s name it the soulbook, less child-ish. That’s my style. For some reason my favourite series are Seinfeld and Curb your Enthusiasm. You gotta love Larry David! Of course you have professional blogs too, where you can actually learn something in a relaxed way. Well, some of them. Get in my nerves when they try to go over and explore another fields of expertise that not theirs. Each monkey to their branch.

Like nowadays everyone does lifestyle and fashion blogs or share their looks. Come on! Do we all need to know what you’re wearing? And how proudly they advertise their outfits to the world! Can get a bit frustrating cause usually they’re really the plainest looks. It’s mostly shiny stuff and whites. Really, is there some kind of contest going on? Who has the most boring look this week? Me, me, me! Did I win? You won, big time!

In that line my sister could have a blog about fashion. A completely lack of decor, I really want to say lack of taste but I’m afraid it isn’t completely true. It’s like she was dressed by a 2 years old. She wears whatever she feels like it – I hope there’s not much planning associated to her choices – no connection whatsoever. She knows it, so it’s less problematic and actually kinda funny. At least, in the end she always has an interesting piece of clothe/accessories. I give her that! – I’m sure it was something offered or chosen by me. Cof, Cof.

Even if you are inside the right environment, stimulating and creative and all that shit, doesn’t mean you were made for it. I think an artistic mind, like charm, you are born with it. Either you have it or not. You can’t learn it, but you can lose it.

Have a nice weekend!

 

P.S.: by the way, I’m doing the No-Poo method, when you don’t use harmful shampoos, so I advise you to not come near my hair for a while. But that’s all I’m gonna say about it cause I don’t know the fuck I’m doing.

P.S.: if you have the need to see what others are wearing follow this beautiful lady Iris Apfel . That’s worth watching!

ALIENATED MOMS

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I was talking with someone the other day who turned a parent recently and he was telling me how tired he is of being home and have visits from people he even didn’t know existed. I was ya ya…but then I ‘saw me’ speaking with friends that I didn’t have contact for a long time, just cause we have a baby in common. It’s like we’re living an out-of-body experience or we were the only survivors of alien abduction. Fuck!
After being home with a tiny thing, for a few months, you miss the connection with grown ups but because you don’t know anymore what’s going on in the real world – you’re to busy changing diapers, cooking homemade food for baby, discover how to put them to sleep without killing each other, playing, bathing and more diapers and reading about how to do all this stuff – so you turn to the other alienated mothers.
Even if it’s only to gossip about the neighbour that doesn’t breastfeed her baby. Oh! Oh! About that…there’s so many different opinions and judgement. Ok, there are studies and everything that says breast milk is better, has antibacterial and healing properties, blah blah blah…in the end, the main goal is to feed the baby! #FedIsBest
If for some reason cant breastfeed or even if you won’t, it’s only your choice. Nobody cares! Get over yourself ladies, don’t trash talk just because you have different ideas how to use your goodies.
Sometimes I wish* I had no milk, to have no choice than give formula to Mr.T. It’s so sad look at them deflating after a feeding. Shit, it’s depressing!

*Not a real wish! Only to illustrate an idea. Knock on wood! I love breastfeeding, so convenient and you have an excuse to put them out in the open, getting some fresh air once in a while.

It’s funny how motherhood is so overrated. It’s not enough that you have a woman’s day, there’s still a mother’s day. As soon as you pop that sucker out of your vajayjay, there’s an update, you uploaded another day in your calendar. YaY!
I’m beginning to think that some men treat women like shit cause we have these days to ‘celebrate us’, so the rest of the year must be men’s day, I assume!
Time to say goodbye. Baby down, still have the dishes and some scrubbing to do.
Bye bye!

F’ARTISTS

Posted on by moalmor

I was looking on the internet and finally came across something to bitch about.
Recently a couple of people the same-sex that happen to love each other very much decided to get married. With that in mind they start to plan the wedding and of course there’s a need for a photographer. With all the fricking photographers in the world to choose they had the nerve to like and pick the one that’s homophobic. Too bad you guys!
For the love of drama, he rejected and apparently the couple felt offended and now it’s on the media.

SO….now every pseudo photographer is offering their ass for 15 min of fame. No, I’m sorry. They’re just offering their time and amazing work for FREE. YES! You can only imagine how amaaaazing it must be.
This should be considered crime. As society is right now and as long there are people like that out there, offering prices that don’t correspond to reality in that particular area, it’s going to be a dark era for art. We – people in general, please don’t include me, or you, if you feel like it – are turning down quality over cheapness. The seaweed is exploiting those poor bastards that have, mostly, a lack of taste, doesn’t even need to be considered good taste. Unfortunately they’re the majority.
My dears, just because they have a photo machine, a pencil, a brush or a fucking stick – for what I care – and they put it as a job description, doesn’t make them real. But for sure makes you an asshole.

 

A big kiss from this pseudo artist,
XOXO

P.S. I don’t sell farts but if you really want some, PAY the fair amount. At least they’re smelly!

RETURN TO MOTHERLAND II

Posted on by moalmor

Hi again.

We got back from Portugal almost a month ago but I’ve been just lazy and well the jet lag didn’t help too, plus it took a while to get back to the old routine. Get Thomas to sleep in his bed, good schedules….just thinking about it, I need a break_______________________________________________________________________Ok, done!

So, about our stay in Portugal, didn’t go exactly how we expected. Let me lay the facts for you.

  1. Flight delays with a 6 month old aren’t funny. At all!
  2. I had so many plans, things to do in Lisbon, we ended doing nothing. On the upside, we lost a few kilos – only to gain them back, and more, the weeks after – with all the walking and gymnastics cause of the stroller. Lisbon isn’t baby friendly.
  3. Wanted to travel a bit in Europe – NADA!
  4. At least we got to see Star Wars, a free night from Mr.T. ALLELUIA!!!
  5. My parents were working all the time, they didn’t get to enjoy their grandson. Shame on them! By the way, go eat some sugar at the new PONTO CHIC, a must!
  6. Baths, rare.

Despite all the downs, Thomas had a good time, enjoyed grandmas food, the sun…all the family was really excited about a new baby. Maybe we inspired some souls into parenthood. Or not. Who knows?!

About returning to Portugal, we are putting that idea on standby. I think I had a romantic vision of living there, from sun and love, you know, that kind of shit. Don’t get me wrong, I still think like that but I need money. I wish a lot! There’s no way isn’t a beautiful country and friendly people. Eating/drinking is so nooooooot expensive. But that’s it! There’s a certain basic thinks considered ‘luxuries’ over there that I’m not willing to give up, like the fucking hot water and heat! My new BFF and ever.

PAUSE/FORWARD For now we are going to focus on the positive and see where this – freezing – land take us. Let’s hope not farewell!

Bye Bye!

 

RETURN TO MOTHERLAND

Posted on by moalmor

Today it’s gonna be a more serious post. So, you can go and spare that diaper, I will wait…
As you know, we had a baby recently, well 5 months in ‘baby time’ is like an eternity, but whatever. It was a year full of shit, literally! but good and crazy stuff too. So, as a reward we are going to spend Christmas with the family.

WATCH OUT BITCHES, WE’RE COMING!!!

It’s going to be fun, see everyone, eat like pigs, don’t shower for the whole month – I still remember to take a shower in Portugal, the fucking ritual with the heater, and I don’t miss that. Brrrrr
Finally I’m gonna meet my brother-in-law, all the way from Africas. Man, they have lions and stuff there. Crazy shit!

I’m wondering how it will go this trip to motherland.
Will we be…?
a) all sentimental and want to stay;
b) lost, out of the portuguese habits and want to come back as soon as possible;
c) a mix of a and b;
d) none of the above.

I let you know. Fuck! I don’t even want to go anymore, just thinking that we need to get back to this fucking cold and lonely land. Lets just avoid all the return day drama and stay.

What do you think??? – not a rhetorical question
Live in a place you don’t like, I mean, we tried but just can’t get it to grow on us BUT have some financial stability and possibility of organize your life
OR
Live in a beautiful place, close to your family and friends BUT have no idea if you’re gonna eat the next day.
NOW put a kid in the equation!
Will he be better raised by happy* parents or with a bunch of new toys?
Only thoughts, any helpful on that side?

*Well, the father is Gemini! So, happy is very relative in this case, if you’re into this astrological shit you know what I mean.

XOXO
SEE YOU SOON!

LIKE MACAROONS

Posted on by moalmor

Awww motherhood is beautiful…
So our days are going pretty nice until the sun goes down and it’s hell on earth. He makes a fuss now, every fucking night, to sleep. I wonder how it’s going to be on the plane to Portugal, god help us. I think his teeth are coming one per week, he has one out and another showing up already. He’s going all cannibal with us now, especially with his main source of food aka my boobs.
But seriously when he throws these tantrums, like he wants to sleep but just cries and yells and pulls hair and cries a little more, you just want to throw him on the floor, lucky him he has a nice face and I kinda like him, A LOT.
It’s just that took so long to fabricate him, about 9 months for those of you that have no idea how this works. It’s like when you make a batch of macaroons, so much work and fucking almond flour is so expensive, you pray that gets out perfect. And then it won’t and you never do it again.
So you can see how fucked up these guys are, the other night I was living the nightmare of putting him to sleep and before i lose it I lay him on the crib and hang my head on the rail, breathing and trying hard to not cry, when his crying suddenly stops, I look up and the sucker is staring at me and smiles. You big son of a b…me.