FIRST TIMER

Hi People!
It appears that nowadays everyone knows how to write and have blogs and stuff on the web. Since I have tons of time in my hands now, and too lazy to exercise, I’m giving it a try! And it seems a pretty good way to practice my english. Not sure how this thing works, when and what to write about, you guys feel free to help and throw some ideas.
So, to fill you in. My name is Monica, I live in Montreal – for now – with boyfriend and our recent acquisition, a 3 1/2 month baby, Mr. T.

I’m on maternity leave, around 7 months left, but scratching my balls since 5 months pregnant. Not because of a dangerous pregnancy, more cause my job is not pregnant friendly. I was so tired that when they told me was my last day at work I was so relieved and thought was a good thing, until I started to gain weight, and more weight and doctor giving me shit. Turns out it wasn’t me, was the baby. Fucker! Was born almost 10 pounds – 4.225kg±55.5cm – with big Sasquatch feet, maybe we can get to that another day.

About all that time I told you I have now, I’m trying to find things to occupy my time – while baby sleeps – I’m doing a comic book for Thomas, to show him later all the pain he made mamma go through – better be the next Ronaldo.
Actually I complained a lot during pregnancy, had nausea, vomiting for the first 4 months,then heartburn, the famous constipation, leg cramps, sciatica, almost everything there is in the menu plus, I was mortified about labour.
Well, guess what, that’s the easy part! The nightmare starts once baby pops out and they put him on the boob, and you just stare at baby, nurse, baby again. NOW WHAT???
Doesn’t matter how much you read about breastfeeding, how many clips you watch and classes you go. It’s a fucking mess!
I’m telling you, labour was a piece of cake, I would have a soccer team if it wasn’t the next – at  least – 3 months of adaptation, sleep deprivation, the headaches if baby is eating enough, sticking the thermometer in his little bum every time the poor guy sneezes…
I’m being a little drama queen here, my baby is quite a good baby, but once you think you’re an expert of being a mommy, they change the game, back to square one. They own you girl! Hell!!!
Since the moment I created life inside my once average size belly – or better yet, since papa put his seed inside mamma. Ups! – I earned the right to complain about horse shit I want.

Anyway, passed the crazy 3 months, now I’m starting to think about getting back to work, a bit scared if I lost the work rhythm and the ability to interact with grown-ups. Also afraid of not finding a daycare on time or going bankrupt with it – we are missing the grandparents here. Lately I’m afraid a lot, I wasn’t like that before, I’m becoming a real pussy. My boyfriend tells me ‘That’s cause you’re a mother now’.
Well, I guess he’s right.
Welcome to fucking motherhood!


P.S: I got a little lost there, so finally here’s a sneak peek of the book. By the way, christmas is coming, any copic, chameleon or touch markers will be welcome, to finalize the masterpiece. All our money now goes to poop care lol

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s